Beautiful Landscapes, New Ideas and Positive Change

So..a LOT has happened since my last update! My friends Lisa and Katie and I passed a long weekend in Baños, about 3 hours south of Quito. What a beautiful place. Nestled within some of the most gorgeous and lush mountains I have ever seen, it is well-known (I believe) for its waterfalls and hot water springs. For me, not only was it by far the most fun I´ve had here in Ecuador, but also full of learning and relevant epiphanies.

This is definitely going to seem pretty random, but it´s definitely something that I will not forget. As I´ve said before, one of the most incredible things about being here for me is meeting people from all over the world. On Saturday night, for the first time in my life, I met and had a conversation with a group of people who live in Israel. Of course, we immediately got into conversation about politics...and the Israeli impression of Americans and vice versa, their obligatory enlistment in the army, the war on terror. Our conversation kept returning to the same conclusion: things can´t be judged from the outside looking in. You can´t truly understand something if you don´t experience it. I recalled being in Austria a few years ago and told the Israelis about how someone there told me that people in the area were celebrating when they heard that the Twin Towers had been attacked. One of the guys replied, "well, you know what we were thinking? We were thinking, ´finally you all understand how we feel.´" Always threatened, never sure your country or your life is safe. That made me so sad. We realized later that it was actually September 11th. Wack.

The next morning, Lisa, Katie and I took a tour and saw about a billion different waterfalls around Baños. They really were beautiful and the weather was perfect. Little did we know that at the second waterfall, we would be given the opportunity to jump off a bridge and suspend ourselves over a river (called bridge jumping)! Katie and I immediately refused, but it was something Lisa had really wanted to do. Once she officially agreed to it, the guide explained that if we were interested, two people could attach together and jump at the same time. Katie and I did NOT change our minds. But the guide kept insisting...and Lisa turned to me and said "Caitlin, if you don´t do this now, you´ll regret it as soon as you leave." And I immediately agreed to do it. She was so right. I didn´t have any time to reconsider, either, because they began strapping me up as soon as I said the word.

I could never have prepared myself for the sensation of a 90-foot free fall. Never in a million years did I think I would ever willingly do it. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before! In the split second that I jumped, I realized how I really wanted the rest of this trip to be. With risks and adventure-- no regrets. I don´t want there to be anything that I should have done or tried that I didn´t. Somehow, that moment of free fall (I´m not kidding-- I literally experienced this entire thought in less than 5 seconds) was my own personal proof that life is too short not to seize every opportunity. It all just clicked...people say it, but I never really considered it seriously. For the time being, that motto is deep inside me. Who knew that the process of deciding whether or not to bridge jump--and then actually doing it--could be such a great metaphor for a life?

All weekend, my friends and I joked about how we would never return to Quito. We loved being able to breathe without inhaling pure bus fumes, we loved the freedom, and we loved not working! (All of us were getting a little fed up with the volunteering-- it´s a lot of the same, the kids can be frustrating, and the adults can be too.) But towards the end of the weekend-- at which point we had pretty much nothing else to complain about-- we had a long conversation over dinner about people wishing their lives away and always wanting to be somewhere else or living in the moment. All three of us were/are experiencing a little homesickness for various reasons, so we have all wished at some point that that we were done here and could go back home. But what I personally took away from the conversation is that I have really got to change my thinking in some ways or I truly will not last three more months. As much as I love a lot of what I am doing here, I often find myself counting down the minutes until a market activity is over or even counting down the days until I go home. It´s hard for me not to when I´m bored or frustrated or angry. We talked about how people always say "I can´t wait til college" and then, " I can´t wait til I graduate and get a job" and then "I can´t wait until I have a baby" and just always wish they were one step further than they are. But we always wish parts of our life away that we will never get back. I won´t ever return to this time in my life. But I do get Arlington back. I get both, but I only get this for a little while, so I need to appreciate every experience for what it is. I will HAVE to leave here before I know it, at which point all I will want to do is stay.

Since coming back to Quito, I have made a concious effort to not wish for anything to be over and to put full energy into everything. I didn´t wear a watch to the markets today so that I would focus entirely on the kids. When I´m frustrated, I try to find one good thing about what I´m doing in that moment--or wait for one to come. I remember that there are little tiny things that are worth it all: like when a four-year-old who calls the color red "tomato" and doesn´t know the difference between yellow, green, and blue finally begins to understand. Or when a little girl whose homework is to fill an entire notebook paper with swirls finally does one perfectly and beams and gives you a huge hug to celebrate. Weird little things.

I´m actually pretty sure that my attitude is changing. I am getting used to the fact that this is my life; a lot of the time I don´t feel like Quito is a foreign city or like a guest in my house. I really hope things stay this way even as friends come and go.