The responsibilities that came with this job have challenged me and excited me from the beginning, but something about the end of the summer—filling out evaluation after evaluation, witnessing the drive that my volunteers put forth in the last week of the project, planning debriefing, the typical dramas of Staff House intensified, seeing all of my volunteers together again—simultaneously weighed down on my shoulders like a ton of bricks and left me feeling invincible, and like a proud and influential mother. As I assessed my volunteers’ and superiors’ performance this summer and came up with feedback on how each of them could grow as leaders, I really felt like a professional for the first time: busy, authoritative, constructive, influential. It was such a blissful thing to watch all of my volunteers finish up their projects, reflect on their summers and feel so genuinely proud of what they had accomplished, no matter how difficult it had been for some of them at times.
Pictures of cool stuff that happened in communities recently:
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| Volunteers and community members in La India with a trash can they made this summer! |
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| Baby Camilo Harrington Garcia Masis, named after two of my volunteers. Most awesome thing ever. |
The next day, supervisors went back on route to do our final community close-outs and evaluations of the projects with community members (in my case, that meant waking up in the dark for the second day in a row, at 5 am, to catch a 6 o’clock bus…after sleeping for only 6 hours between the two nights prior). Strangely, I was totally nervous about closing the projects out; I was supposed to organize meetings in all four of my communities with as many people as possible to get an idea of what went well, what didn’t, and what could be improved upon. And—welcome to Latin America—the largest meeting I was able to get together consisted of 15 people, despite frequent reminders and PRINTED invitations made by a local youth counterpart. In two communities, I ended up having to go door-to-door to get information because 3 people or fewer showed up to my planned meeting. Normally in this kind of situation, I would be bothered. I would be really disappointed in myself for not being able to stick to my plan, for not preparing well enough. But in one way or another, I got the information I needed, and I just had to accept the fact that I’ll have to figure something else out for next time. That is fine. Being unsuccessful is okay—who knew?!
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| Last moments with Denis and Yunior, two fantastic youth counterparts in the community of El Jocote, after my only slightly successful participatory evaluation. |
After those two long days in communities, on the 12th, we all returned to Staff House to finish all of our remaining paperwork and get everything ready to be officially done. By 3 pm on the 13th, we were completely paperwork free and had the entire house emptied; we squished our 9-person staff team and 18 backpacks/pieces of luggage into a small jeep and hit the road! Destination: Laguna de Apoyo, where our staff spent the next two days lounging in the beautiful lagoon, napping to make up for all of that lost sleep, surfing around OKCupid, and intentionally violating a large majority of the Standards of Conduct that we were required to abide by as AMIGOS workers. A ridiculously interesting way to close out the project and the summer, to say the least.
Currently, Seth and I are thousands of feet in the air somewhere between Managua and Atlanta, Georgia. This is the first time I’ve been in transit home this year and thought that I’d be happier staying where I was. It’s sad, having to leave so many people and things that I have grown to love so, so much. It makes me feel empty. But it’s also kind of a nice feeling, being absolutely certain that the past two months were worth it.
It was hard for me to hear that most of my fellow staff members—and even many volunteers—were so excited to see such a stressful summer come to an end. I can’t say I loved having to use a maggot-infested latrine in the pitch black of night, sitting in front of computer for a consecutive 12+ hours doing paperwork on a handful of occasions, having to deal firsthand with the gender inequalities in this country, or experiencing a lot of the difficult feelings that come from working so closely with the same group of people for so long. But I am leaving this experience a more responsible decision-maker, a more effective communicator, a better team-worker, a better leader, and a more confident person. And I never, ever could have foreseen the affection and warmth I felt these past two months. I have laughed and smiled so much and been taught more than I could ever imagine, and am leaving Nicaragua thirsty for more adventure, knowledge and love.
A year ago today was my first full day in Ecuador. I start college in two days. Life is so quick.
